Once I had a client who was obsessed with a girl he ran into now and then. Even though she was with someone else, he was convinced that one day she’d come around… that they were meant to be together.
He dreamt of her every night. This was such a strong experience, he felt as if they were already together. He spoke of his “commitment” and turned down other opportunities.
I can’t count how many times I’ve heard questions like this: “Should I stay with the boring, nice guy I’m with, or go back to my ex? I know he’s across the country, non-committal, alcoholic, and was always mean to me, but there’s so much passion!”
To an outsider, these answers seem obvious, but they are not to these people. Why? Why do some smart, intuitive people dwell on relationships that make no sense in the “real world”?
Talk show hosts and therapists coach folks like this in coming to their senses—successfully, in some cases. In other cases, it doesn’t work. That’s when people go to a psychic. “Help! What’s happening?” they ask me.
Our relationships are not bound by time and space. When someone feels as if they’re with someone who is not physically there, usually they are on to something. I always validate that when I see it.
Our spiritual bodies are free to travel where our bodies do not. Especially in our dreams at night, but also in our “daydreams” or passing thoughts, we interact with others. Often we do things on the astral (dream) plane that, for whatever reason, we can’t or won’t do with our physical bodies.
Once, I felt an attraction between my neighbor and I. Because he was my neighbor, I was cautious. I didn’t want to date him and then have to live a hundred feet away from each other if it didn’t work. So, one night we hung out on the astral. All was going great, until he found out what I did for a living and got really weird. I woke up and crossed that one off my list. Much easier than actually dating!
Even after people die, we still relate with them—sometimes even more than ever, because they are not bound by the body. Once I was sitting with my father on vacation in Colorado, and he suddenly grew silent. “My mother’s in the room right now,” he said, staring over at the window, and went on to tell me what she was doing and saying.
Have you ever thought of someone out of the blue right before they called, emailed, or crossed your path? Dreamt of someone and felt a deep connection or resolution? Sensed the presence of someone who has passed on? I find that many people have these experiences, but don’t talk about them, for fear of what people will think.
So, when people can’t shake an inexplicable connection, I always validate them first. Often that is the biggest healing, because the fear of being crazy is at least as difficult as the dilemma these people are in! When I recognize that—yes– something is really going on here, often their relief at being heard takes the charge off the situation and allows them to make clearer decisions.
Once the psychic aspects of relationships are recognized, I can ask more questions:
What does they really want out of this situation? Is there unresolved karma between them and the other person? Maybe they were in love last lifetime and couldn’t be together. Does the other person express qualities that they want to develop? Do they have a spiritual agreement to help each other in some way? Are they trying to avoid a real relationship?
What is this person learning? Maybe they are learning to have more of themselves, forgive, or have ease instead of drama.
Given this person’s physical reality and spiritual path, what are the implications of different actions or approaches to their situation?
You can release karma; develop your inner qualities; and identify, create and update your psychic agreements with others… without obsessing over them, without needing the other person to be or do anything.
You can learn so many lessons by honestly taking a look at your inner world, not pushing it away or running from it. It may seem scary at first, but trust me– it is far less scary than the resulting pain of waiting for life to teach you the hard way.
Once I validated the reality of my client’s psychic relationship, I told him it didn’t look likely they’d get together in 3-D. It took him awhile to learn his lessons and let go of this, but he did it, and eventually left her alone psychically.
Physically, he had respected her and her relationship all along, but in addition to practical ethics, there are also psychic ethics. When I was first learning this stuff, I was too fascinated to think much about that. But, now that I understand how real the psychic world is, I try to be respectful.
For example, if I talk to someone telepathically (from my mind to theirs), I try to identify myself. I say, “Fred, this is Ann, will you get me a chai while you’re out?” Then, he has more space to choose, instead of feeling like he has to get me a chai without knowing why.
Now, a cup of tea may not be a big deal, but imagine the effects on someone if you fantasize about them, worry about them, or mentally judge them constantly. People feel these things.
Just for today, see if you can be a little bit more conscious of where you are from moment to moment. You are always in relationship. In your thoughts, in your fantasies, in your dreams at night, what is happening? What are you learning or wanting? Can you get a little clearer about what you’re doing when you think you’re not “doing” anything?
Got some relationships or experiences you’re curious about? Let me know if I can help explain them.
copyright 2007 Ann O’Brien- All Rights Reserved.