For the first time in almost 4 years, I took a trip by myself a few weeks ago. I bliss out in solitude, I bliss out in the desert and I bliss out when I’m doing the work that I love. Wow– I covered all those bases when I led a retreat in northern New Mexico, had a day off in Sedona, and then attended a retreat for women entrepreneurs in Phoenix. Needless to say, I returned home centered and glowing and unable to accept a “smaller” life anymore.
My husband had nudged me to go, he cheered me on during the trip and he did a great job with our 3-year-old daughter. When I got home, he was warm and loving for a couple days and then became distant. What happened? I was so confused. I came home in a great space and didn’t understand the sudden change.
It took me a week to figure it out. It triggered him when I started talking about hiring help around the house. He told me he thought I was asking him to pay for it. Ahhh… I said I wasn’t. Note to self: don’t take a life-altering solo trip and then immediately start a liver and gallbladder cleanse at the same time as your partner. Cleanses bring things up, and the liver in particular is known to hold anger. More about that later… 🙂
Here’s where I was coming from: I knew we were both signed up for a bigger life, and it pained me to come home to a house filled with endless laundry, dishes, toys on the floor and meals to prepare. I collapsed in tears a couple times, because I had just gone from feeling so connected to my soul and creativity to feeling like a slave to the house.
He and I are both powerful leaders, and when we’re in each our “zone of genius” (doing the work that only we can do), we are paid well. Why should we spend hours driving to and from Kinko’s and standing in line, when we could buy 5 printers with the money we’d earn by using that time to give our special gifts to the world? Not to mention the # of people we could serve! A week after I got back, I went out and bought a printer. And came home with takeout instead of cooking. I think that triggered him too.
I was so clear I had to take this trip, and take that step into greater success and connection with myself. Suddenly, I found myself wondering if I was going to lose my man in the process. Already, I had taken my first break from my daughter. And I also had housework and exercise and bookkeeping and business projects to catch up with. How on earth do we maintain it all?
Previous to the trip– except for the need for more sleep and a shorter “to-do” list, I felt like I was doing a pretty good job “having it all”. Yet, I am here for a big purpose and so is my whole family, and it is time to step it up. As a healer for all these years, I am well aware that change usually comes with growing pains.
And, life has cycles. Especially for the feminine, and especially when it comes to our creative process. This is one of the things we covered on the retreat, and so of course I came face to face with it in my own life. They say if you want to master something, teach it. Ha ha.
I have long taught that spirit moves faster than the body. For many of my clients, knowing this helps when daily life lags behind where they’re at spiritually. It’s like that for all of us, and it takes patience and trust.
For me, I’m realizing I will always have more creative ideas than I can act on. My creative energy has always been powerful. This is why I spent years of my 20’s as a singer-songwriter, poet and dancer. As I got into teaching and healing as a profession, I sometimes wondered if I had the wrong job. Given that I could do my work all day, I’m sure I have the right job though I have to do it in a creative way.
I am also a chef. I used to spend 3-4 hours a day spouting and juicing and dehydrating, etc… Health is one of our family’s greatest values, though as a mother and business owner, I cannot personally spend hours in the kitchen anymore. And this is why I need to hire help! Even still, it’s hard for me to give up creating!
I hear so many women wondering how to find balance in their lives. Some are big creatives like me, others get stuck in “maintenance” mode and others destroy to the point of drama. All 3 aspects are needed, and most of us excel at at least one and struggle with at least one.
How are you doing balancing money, love, career, your health, creativity, family and self-care?
Are you pushing hard to “get it all done?” Are you neglecting some things and feeling guilty or anxious because of it? Do certain parts of your life seem to be blowing up in your face? Besides learning to balance the 3 necessary aspects of creation (create-destroy-maintain), we women find our greatest power when we balance body and spirit. Simply put, this means consciously creating both energetically and practically.
This is what my work is all about. Bringing spirit and body together.
Your soul-readiness will always be ahead of what’s happening in your life. Because this is painful for all of us, many spiritually-aware people choose to bypass the body and emotions and over-emphasize spirit. This is why psychics are often seen as being “woo-woo,” and it’s another reason why I used to wonder if I had the wrong job.
Alongside my 10 years of psychic training and over 15 years of practice, I have studied holistic nutrition, yoga, and martial arts. I have learned to manage money and a house and run a business. When my spiritual teacher held weekend retreats, I was the one doing handstands during breaks and bringing in my own superfoods. My spirituality is about more than sitting in a chair all weekend!
Many people on the planet lean the other way, and discount spirit thinking what we see with our physical eyes is all there is. Some of us know better, but get so swept away in the day-to-day that we forget our spiritual practice for weeks or months or years on end.
If you’re “doing” a lot with small results, you may need to focus on letting go, relaxing and shifting your energy. Meditate, get rid of things and tasks and habits that don’t feel like the “you” you are becoming. You need space to receive more.
If you have great visions and wonder why they aren’t manifesting, you may need to focus more on the physical. This could include action steps, taking better care of your body, and generally learning to “ground” yourself and make friends with 3-D life.
Yes, this gap between spirit and body can be painful. And I have found a BIG secret to minimize the pain:
Give yourself at least 5-20 minutes daily to meditate, check in with your soul and align your energy. And then… Treat your body as sacred. Attend to your physical life as sacred. Start to align your 3-D life with who you know you really are.
Yes, this meditation time is an investment. Yes, your new actions and habits will require some discipline. It’s nothing compared to the frustration you’d feel otherwise. It’s nothing compared to pushing all the time with small results.
It’s so much more joyful when we learn to create with energy first, and simultaneously take inspired actions. What’s really yours to do may take energy, but it doesn’t feel like “work.”
Not sure where to start? If you’re feeling like this might be time to step your life up, I have an invitation…
This winter, I’m offering Creating Your Life With Your Light: A Woman’s Journey to Success From the Inside Out. Join us and I’ll guide you in weekly meditations to clear your energy, I’ll answer your personal questions, and give you practical tips and interviews from guest experts in money, love, sex, health, career and more. You can sign up here to be on the early notification list as soon as we open the doors.
To your success from the inside out,
P.S. You should have seen how many gallstones came out of my husband this weekend. I didn’t look, but I trust him. ;). And he’s much nicer to me now. Sigh. Being a female leader isn’t just about business. And, our dear men need to let go sometimes too!