In 1998 I lived in a spiritual community, and had a roommate who claimed to meditate for 5 hours a day! It sounds great and all, but he was actually no fun to hang around.
Not that I have a problem with meditation— I have done it too since I was 18! I just didn’t feel comfortable with the way my roommate told me, with a smug grin on his face, that he never got upset about anything anymore. I could feel he was lying.
As I got to know him, I learned he was a recovering heroin addict who had just transferred his addiction. Instead of taking drugs, he was getting high on meditation, and this was his new way to numb himself to the world.
This story has stuck with me all these years because it’s so fundamental to what I teach. If we use our spirituality to escape the world, it’s of no use.
And, if we repress our feelings they still come out in distorted ways. I could feel the mismatch between his words and his truth, and I couldn’t feel at ease with him. If I felt that way, I wondered how he could possibly feel at ease with himself.
I named my upcoming program “Jump Start Your Intuition: Simple Daily Meditation Tips to Increase Wealth, Improve Health and Give You Peace of Mind.”
Let’s take a look at this “peace of mind” part, because I think it gets misunderstood in some spiritual circles.
Peace of mind is not the denial of feelings. Even neutrality, which I encourage in my intuitive training students, is actually the allowing of any feeling, not the absence of feeling.
The more you are ok with your own pain, fear, anger, doubt, etc., the more peace you will have. The more you can accept your own feelings, the more you can be both present for and unaffected by others.
Our feelings are there anyway, and when we allow them, they no longer control us. It is such a relief to feel and move through the emotions that are ours!
Notice I did not say “act them out no matter what the consequences.” In allowing our feelings, it’s important we don’t hurt ourselves or anyone else as we feel them.
To create a safe space to feel, here are some of my favorite ways:
- Say a prayer before you vent. I remember once a boyfriend broke up with me very abruptly, and I was understandably angry. I wanted to scream and call him names, but first I stated my intention that all involved would be protected, and that my clearing would bring healing in grace for all. Then I let loose.
- Think of yourself as an actor. There is a part of you that can witness the feeling, even as you’re letting it move through you. We can get fancy and talk about you being a spirit and having a body with all those feelings, but you can also simply pretend you are playing a part feeling all that.
- Have a little fun. So if you’re an actor but not acting out, it’s fun, right? The key is consciousness. I remember one day I was working hard and realized I was being a little dictator to myself with a whole list of “shoulds” and “have-to’s”. In a moment of inspiration, I realized I was stuck and went over to my bathroom mirror. I made faces at myself and said all the “shoulds” and “have-tos” in a funny voice. I got over that pretty quick!
- Couples, you can even act out your relationship issues together, and move through them in a playful way! Sick of drama? Check out this short video here and especially tip #3!
Now back to this idea of peace of mind… I encourage you to try these exercises and see if you feel a little freer.
Think back to a day when you felt upset, but rushed off to work and plowed through without letting yourself cry or talk about it. Was that a hard day?
What about a day when you did the opposite… spoke up, had a good cry, or did something to blow off steam… then went about your day? Was that day a little easier?
If you’d like more peace of mind and need some help to find it, I am offering 21 days of simple guided meditations and practices to support you. You CAN bring a spiritual focus to your daily life, and I can show you how to have fun and succeed with this.
Learn more about the program, “Jump Start Your Intuition: Simple Daily Meditation Tips to Increase Wealth, Improve Health, and Give You Peace of Mind” here.