I’ve been doing a new workout the last few months, and sometimes my body shakes. Besides years of dance, hiking and martial arts, I’ve been a yogi for two decades, but I’m getting into my core now in a way I never have. Yay! It’s so exciting.
But strange. Sometimes my muscles grip trying to pull my body back into the old shape. Some days I obsess over my posture, not wanting to go back to the old way now that I know better. Yet it takes time.
In class, when my body shakes, I know what it is. My body is torn between the old and the new. New muscles are working, and old patterns are simultaneously trying to hold on and let go.
The healing process is like this. It’s normal to shake in this type of workout, and it’s normal to have fears, doubts and pain as we break free of old habits in our lives. This includes the way we relate with our loved ones, the boundaries we set, our sense of self worth and our courage in going for our goals. We may judge ourselves along the way– but two steps forward, one step back is not bad.
One thing I have noticed– living our greatness is not hard. Giving our fullest gifts to the world, loving completely, making money, and being healthy are not hard at all. When we’re struggling we think they are, but have you ever noticed the ease you feel when things are going well?
What’s hard in life is making that transition from living with a bunch of old crap into living your truth. It’s even harder to hover in fear and resistance, not sure if you want to do it.
Once you decide to shed other people’s “stuff,” your old pain, and unhealthy patterns it does hurt. It can be scary to step into your power if you haven’t fully been there before. It can be hard to trust.
Plus, you feel all that stuff you’ve repressed as it comes out. Because you never felt it in the first place, you might think it’s new pain and that you’re going the wrong way. Or, even worse, like something’s wrong with you.
At times, it might seem easier to live with your lights turned off, because at least then you don’t know any different. Lots of people are like this. They do not want to have the level of awareness I do, and that’s ok.
But I choose the warrior path! I am gaining more trust as I notice how full and alive I feel going my own way. Each year I get clearer and clearer about what works for me.
Initially it may disappoint others and it often surprises even me. But the only time it’s hard is when I resist change. When I waver. When I feel bad about it.
What’s even more fascinating is that when I fully approve of myself, people that otherwise might have been pissed off become inspired and supportive. Those who really aren’t aligned with me just don’t seem to show up anymore. All because I gave myself full permission to be who I am.
If you haven’t noticed, I love my work. It’s one of the most fun things I do in my day. Between parenting and business and self-care and taking care of my house, I go from sunup to sundown or later. And I usually have plenty of energy.
I notice that with most people. Doing what you love and living in “your place” on the earth is not hard, even if it’s a lot of time and energy. Being asleep isn’t hard, either.
Fully waking up into your destiny usually requires tons of courage and support. Where are you in this process? Feel free to post a comment below, or reach out for a private session and I’ll be your cheerleader.