Over the past few weeks most of the readings I’ve done have been about money. It seems a lot of folks are feeling crunched for money—either they had it and are running out, or they’ve been holding out for a big break that feels excruciatingly slow in arriving, or they simply want to change their patterns so they can make good money for a change.
While everyone’s story is different, one common theme I see is that most of them have pictures of “reality” that are distorted in some way. Both delusions about and resistance to “reality” keep them from having the abundance they desire.
For example, sometimes I meet creative visionaries who have brilliant ideas but don’t do the day-to-day actions it takes to get that “big break” they want. I have spoken with musicians who never perform, screenwriters who never finish a script, and entrepreneurs who have a great product or service but fail to study and practice tried and true business principles.
On the other hand, some falter because they expect that in “reality” they will never make it. They tell themselves limiting stories of how hard it is to get by, how rich people are all evil, how others are out to get their money, how others should or shouldn’t support them, how money doesn’t grow on trees, etc… etc. and then that is what they experience.
One woman was still resisting the programming she received from her father years ago. Though he meant well, his messages that said “This is how you get by in the world” felt invalidating to her because his style was not her style. Rather than understand he was looking through his own lens and helping in the way he knew best, she internalized the invalidation she felt and resisted “reality” long into her adulthood.
Often the same person will have both the delusional as well as the limiting views of reality. Though these views seem opposing, they actually feed each other quite nicely. If you are unable to accept what you think is reality because it feels too stifling, you are more likely to make up a reality that you think suits you. And, by living in a fantasy world, you actually limit yourself.
Why do we resist reality? Again, it is usually our false concepts of reality that we resist, not the actual reality. When we are clear, reality is made from our dreams, both individual and collective. When there is gunk in the way, there seems to be and endless gap between what we imagine and what we get.
Another common theme I see in the people I work with is that by letting go of illusions about money and reality several beautiful things happen. Stripped of distractions, they find their values: they start to see what is really important to them.
And, they start to see that actual reality, while often simpler and less “glamorous” than they envision, is really quite friendly and neutral. And in that neutrality and simplicity are more possibilities than in anyone’s wildest fantasies.
Real, true possibilities come when we are clear on our values and remove the conditions on how they are fulfilled. Unfortunately, some of us need to get desperate before we remove our conditions upon ourselves, others or life.
Some are attached to a specific picture of “who they want to be when they grow up”. An actor who moved to LA to pursue her dream is terrified to face her friends and family back home if it doesn’t pan out. Another woman desperately tries to get pregnant and cannot. A real estate investor loses his money when the market in Florida crashes sooner than expected.
Life purpose is not about a job or title in the world. We can find so much joy when we take our ego out of the role we think we should be playing and find our soul shining through no matter what we are doing. I believe we are headed collectively to a place of abundance because through the hard times many are having, we are starting to get this.
The budding actress might turn out to be a great mother. The one trying to get pregnant might get “discovered” without trying and love being an actress. The investor might realize he’d rather live in Florida, sell his home in a much pricier area and become financially independent.
We never know. Life is always changing. Take a moment, try and put aside your conditions upon life and ask yourself a few questions.
- What are my top priorities or values?
- What do I have to share with the world? —Meaning, what qualities or attributes—not specific job skills.
- What can I do today to value my values and share my strengths?
- What am I ready to let go of?
- How is life supporting me already?
- What possibilities do I have?
Then get out there and live it!
copyright 2007 Ann O’Brien- All Rights Reserved.