If you’ve ever caught yourself saying “I don’t have enough time, space or money,” you may have more of those things than you think. While it’s healthy to honor the 3-D world where resources are limited, I find that in experiences of lack we often just need something simple: organization. Mindful, conscious choices.
Most people who say they don’t have enough time spend time doing things they don’t need to do. And if you’ve ever moved and emptied all your drawers, you know how crowded your space can feel without organization. Sometimes, we crave physical space when we really need energetic space. And financial coaches have observed that when we track our money, we actually start to have more of it!
Many women and spiritually oriented people just want to “flow” and resist structure. But structure allows more flow!
For example, in business, clear systems and policies create a “container” that can handle– and so attracts– more business. Personally, I am much more creative when I know I have time, space and money allocated for the things I need. To have to figure it out new every day would be exhausting!
As a new mother and entrepreneur, I’ve had to become very clear on where I put my energy. I remember right before I got pregnant, I noted how many hours a week I spent doing each of my regular activities– work, meditation, exercise, cooking, time with my partner, etc. Things I couldn’t do with a baby present were marked with a *.
Then, I added it up. Immediately, I recognized how much I’d need to adjust. Quickly, when every hour without my daughter was an hour I had to pay for– or an hour my partner could not work– I became super focused about my resources.
Now, I have 4-6 hours a day, 6 days a week that I am not with my daughter… plus a little time when she’s sleeping (if I’m awake then). 🙂 In those hours I do almost all of my work, exercise, meditation and other self-care. The other 10-12 waking hours of the day, I’m in flow with family.
People often ask me, “How on earth do you get so much done?” Here’s how:
I have a set schedule and times I work each day, as well as times I meditate and exercise. I even have times I do specific tasks. Every Friday, for example, I balance my books and “pay bills” aka “express appreciation.” On Mondays I write and make videos. I open certain hours each day for client sessions.
I have email reminders set on my calendar for regular weekly tasks, and I have lists on my phone for everything— my grocery list, blog ideas, clothes I’d like to have (yes these lists can be fun things too :)- For me, the lists do several things:
- They give me a place for organizing ideas to come back to when I’m in that “mode” (grocery shopping, work, etc.)
- They anchor my desires into manifestation.
- They calm my mind (knowing I’ve put my ideas on the list), so I can return to my family or yoga practice or sleep– whatever else I may be doing!
Now, with voice dictation on my phone, sometimes I create class outlines, meditations or affirmations when I’m out on my walks– getting several things done in the same hour. I do this when I’m inspired, of course– and if not, I just walk.
I have also learned I can’t do it alone! My husband and I each have certain jobs around the house, so we don’t have to think or talk about who’s doing what. When I am not working, my business assistant, web designer and other team members often are. My advanced students attend and energetically “hold space” for my classes. Not only does this free up my energy for teaching, working with clients, creative and family time, it brings more momentum to everything because now more people are involved and invested. Yay!
I want to add that not only does structure allow flow, it also allows flexibility. When I have systems and structure in my life, I can easily adjust… and often do… when life asks. Most weeks I change something around.
Without the structures, I go a little nuts because I’m not sure when the things I value will get attended to. So the systems help me relax.
I also listen to my body and my intuition. Say Monday is video-making day and I got 5 hours of sleep the night before. I will probably move the video to Tuesday and take a nap! The whole point is to allow flow, not to create more stress!
Last week, my husband was traveling and we had a nanny/ housekeeper helping us, for the first time since 2013. She complimented my husband and I, saying how much our relationship inspired her. After working with lots of families, she said some were more cold in they way they related, but that he and I always take care to do special things for one another.
She told me, “Even when you’re more simple in the morning, you open up in the afternoon and you’re there for your husband. You two do your own things but you’re always affectionate and close.” So ladies, it is possible to have structure and business and a successful love life too!
Her comments were so good for me to hear, because we often see life through the lens of our own challenges. And while we are so blessed, it isn’t always easy having a 2-year old and 2 businesses and self-care and spiritual practice and a house to keep up with. Of course, part of the blessing has been the challenge, for learning how to manage everything has been totally empowering!
So, I thought I’d share a few gems I’ve learned along the way…
If you feel you don’t have enough time… Ask yourself what you most value and what you need or desire more of in your life. Put those things on your calendar, set reminders if you need to, and make them non-negotiable.
If you feel you don’t have enough money… Start keeping track of all your spending, income, etc. At the end of a month, look it over. Again, ask yourself what you most value and see if it’s reflected in your spending. If not, or if you need more money, you’ll now have a clear picture that will inspire the needed changes.
If you feel you don’t have enough space… you may need either physical or psychic/energetic space. To increase your sense of physical space, go through your home or even start with one room, and get rid of things you don’t need. Set up systems of organization. As for psychic space, practice meditation, deep breathing or yoga, or time alone. Learn techniques to release other people’s energy. You could start with an Epson salt bath or smudging yourself with sage or palo santo.
As I mentioned at the start, the physical world is limited and it can be healthy to recognize this. But rather than feeling a sense of lack, in these healthy moments of recognition we feel sober and empowered. When we make conscious choices about where our time, money and belongings go, we know easily if we are really “over budget”, so to speak.
Without this mindfulness, the line “I don’t have enough…” can be a way to blame something external rather than taking responsibility. It may be more comfortable in the short term, but long term it creates a bigger mess and a feeling of helplessness. It is often just a habitual way of speaking based in programming, but it is an expensive habit.
My toddler often asks for toast, then after 2 bites she wants some seaweed, then some fruit, and so on. When I give her everything at once, we inevitably throw food out :(– so I tell her, “eat your toast, then you can have your seaweed.”
It’s a Universal law. Honor what you have and you will have more of it. I promise.