It’s the season of giving, which at best can feel wonderful to our hearts. At this time of year, most of us connect with our loved ones, we exchange gifts, and we take time off of work. I remember many years when I had a great sense of true abundance at this time!
On the other hand, the giving can get distorted. For example: giving more gifts than you can afford, or over-extending yourself by going to parties and shopping and working and running around in the cold and dark, etc. Or you may have been on the receiving end of this– when someone gave to you out of their own need, or otherwise loved you from a depleted place. That doesn’t feel good either!
When giving works, it’s because we’re in alignment with this one truth: Giving and receiving are one.
When giving blows up in our faces, it’s because we’re instead connecting giving with taking. Giving and taking are opposites. When we confuse this, we get away from what we are really going for. Every time.
Have you ever felt so overjoyed when you gave something you had to share, and it was fully received and appreciated? Or moved to tears when you received something meaningful to you, which was given freely?
Ideally, that is not only what this holiday season is about… it is how we are meant to live!
Here are some simple tips for how to do it more:
- Pay attention to your words. For example, many times we say “I want…” which implies a lack. Instead, “I desire” suggests a pulsing within your heart that is full and attractive.
- Notice what space you’re giving from. Are you giving out of pity or obligation? Are you giving because you have a need? Or, are you overflowing with something to give? Whether it’s material generosity, your time and energy, or your creativity, it feels great to everyone when you give from a space of having plenty.
- Have the courage to say “no” when you have nothing to give. When you give from a taking place (which includes a depleted place), you are actually taking from the other person, even if it looks on the outside like you’re doing the “right thing”.
- Consider how you feel about receiving. When you receive love, money or a compliment, do you feel guilty, like you’re taking something from someone? If so, you might want to change that, since we all need to receive daily! We need air, water, food, shelter and love at a bare minimum. How are you receiving those things? Just noticing the quality of your next breath may tell you something about your life. If you’re getting stuck receiving– anything from the basics to “luxuries”– consider how good you’ve felt in the past when something you gave was well-received. Trust that if you desire to receive something, someone else desires to give that same thing.
- Ask yourself: “Where am I holding back?” Many of us are living with our volumes turned down– scared to express what we really feel, afraid to shine our brightest lights, resigned to “this is as good as it gets”, or assuming there will be another chance to love. Even if we have no money or feel exhausted, our hearts never stop. Often the key to receiving more is to give more, and sharing from your heart is a great place to start. Some of the times I’ve felt most alive, most grateful, most humble and blessed– were times when I’d shared my heart deeply, times when I stretched beyond my comfort zone.
While our bodies experience limits, we are all infinite spiritual beings living in an infinite Universe. If we think the body is all we are, we get stuck in “taking” because we disconnect from infinity and there never seems to be enough. We don’t feel safe.
On the other hand, if we dismiss the body, we may have glorious visions and bliss states, but we can’t really manifest here on earth. So I suggest you honor your body’s needs, your energy and your heart– and then connect to infinity! Pray, meditate, tap into something bigger than your ego personality.
Even just allowing yourself to fully exhale, pause, then fully receive your next breath— will connect your body with infinity. So simple!
Enjoy– and may this be a joyous time of giving and receiving as one, for you and your loved ones.