Recently, I wrote an article titled “Do You Heal Men?” and got a lot of response. Apparently, this is a common issue for lots of women!
Often, I hear women complaining that male energy feels so “heavy” to them that they want to get away from men. Or, women ask me to heal their partners, and I keep bringing the reading back to them.
As much as we know we cannot change anyone but ourselves, we women have an innate perfectionism that ties in to our biological baby-making mechanism. When we make a baby, we must put the eyeball in the eye socket and not in the kneecap– or we have a big problem. 🙂 We don’t need to make everything else in our world perfect, but it’s natural for us to try.
I also think that on a collective level, the feminine energy has in general not felt seen, honored or met by the masculine. Out of hunger for love the feminine has tried desperately to fix the masculine, often to the point of assuming responsibility for what’s not ours.
So about me and my Dad…
I have always had a soul connection with my Dad, but it was rough for many years. A sensitive soul and creative thinker, he also had a drinking problem and for lots of my childhood and early adulthood was spiritually “checked out”.
I was so attuned to his energy, and so wanted his love and my family’s peace, that I unconsciously absorbed both his pain and his dreams. I lived them as if they were my own.
Did this help my Dad? No. In retrospect, looking through a psychic lens, it only seemed to make things worse because I was reflecting to him parts of himself he’d denied.
So he got mad at me. And then I was not only not helping him, I was getting the opposite of what I’d wanted!
Once I started on my path of personal growth, I learned to meditate and clear energy, and I realized how much of his energy I was holding in my body. So I diligently cleared it, day after day for years. I stopped taking responsibility and I gave him his energy back.
When I began this, I did it to help myself. Not only was I clearing energy, but I also stood up to him verbally if he was drunk and obnoxious. In retrospect I was sometimes reactionary, but my intention was to care for myself.
I remember one particular day, about 10 years ago, when I picked up the phone and he was obviously drunk. I told him it was unacceptable for me to talk with him when he was like that, and I hung up.
Not long after that, he stopped drinking completely cold turkey and he has been a new man ever since. Now, we have great conversations and he is a lot of fun to be with.
Did I “heal” him? We may never know, and he says he doesn’t know why he stopped drinking. But what I do know is that during the years I absorbed his energy and put up with him, things never improved. So in a sense, perhaps I healed him by not healing him anymore!!
We can never solve problems or process issues that aren’t ours. At the same time, the people they belong to can’t process them either when we do this. It’s a lose-lose.
While letting go of responsibility for others may feel scary, like we’ll lose them or lose control… and while it may be hard initially, it can be a big win for everyone in the end. At least, it’s a win for ourselves, and that’s all we can control anyway.
Yes, male energy is heavier than female energy. But that’s not “bad.” A rock is heavier than a feather. Is a rock “bad”? Does it burden the feather? Not if the feather is in it’s natural place in the air.
Ladies, if you want something to be responsible for, try being responsible for radiating your own light. For honoring your feminine creative energy and for allowing your own happiness, even bliss– no matter how anyone else is feeling.
Here’s a secret.. actually two: 1). That’s what men want anyway. It inspires them, and when they feel it they will change without us asking them to. And isn’t our own happiness what we want anyway? Win-win!
2). That’s what will make male energy in all it’s heaviness feel “good” and not a burden. When we women fill ourselves up with our own love, male energy will feel solid as a rock and not like the weight of the world.
Sit with your eyes closed, spine erect and feet flat on the ground.
Breathe in and imagine breathing love all the way down the front of your body, to your tailbone. Breathe out and imagine the love streaming up your spine and out your head, like a shower of love-light that radiates from you.
Next, imagine a rose in front of you, like a beautiful fluffy and clear rose in full bloom. See it about 3 feet out in front of you, and imagine it vacuuming out of you anyone else’s emotions, thoughts, programs, or desires that you’ve been holding.
Keep your breath flowing and just watch as the energy leaves you and goes into the rose. When you’re ready, see the rose in your mind’s eye floating off to the edge of the horizon and see it dissolve in a puff of light. Know that all those people are getting their energy back.
Take a moment again to breathe into your own body and fill yourself with light!
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copyright 2011 Ann O’Brien- All Rights Reserved.