One day this past summer I was meditating out in my garden and came across the mass-held belief that says, “Masculine energy is unsafe.” Then it continued to include: “Feminine energy is unsafe” and consequently, “Life is unsafe.”
I had a huge ah-ha about why it feels to me like people are so shut down, about how and why most of us have been living with our volumes turned down. It has been so sad to me to see life pass this way when I know so much more passion—in every sense of the word– is possible!
Right now the Divine Feminine is awakening on the planet—which for all of us includes opening up to our feelings, valuing relationships and living in a way that honors the earth and all life.
This Divine Feminine consciousness is opening in all of us—men and women alike—and it pervades our relationships with others as well as the relationship between the masculine and feminine parts of ourselves. For truly whatever is happening “out there” in our personal relationships, community or planetary reality is happening at least to some degree within ourselves and vice versa.
For many years I have been a part of women’s groups, and found myself in communities that blamed the masculine in reaction to the degradation the feminine has historically endured. I was a literature major at UC Santa Cruz and I can’t count how many times I heard something like: “dismantle the hetero-phallo-centric-patriarchal” (construct, society, paradigm, etc.)
I get it. Over the last stretch of history, the masculine has been over-valued, and has dominated and blamed the feminine. Women have been angry and understandably so.
But just as our inner being and outer world tend to mirror each other, if the feminine blames the masculine she is somehow enforcing the energy of blame even if the intention is to get free of it. And if the masculine dominates and controls the feminine he is in some way dominating and controlling himself.
And when we blame both the masculine and feminine, unfortunately we can’t have either energy– which makes for a very dull existence!
So now as the Divine Feminine awakens on the planet, the Divine Masculine is starting to awaken too. How exciting!
I actually believe that in order to fully awaken the Divine Feminine we NEED to honor the Divine Masculine, and vice versa. So what are these energies?
As I see it the feminine is the domain of feelings, love, light, relationship, the body, the earth, and the flow of energy. As the feminine flows, feels and radiates, the masculine provides direction, structure, purpose and deep consciousness.
I think of the masculine-feminine dance like a song– if it were all flow and feelings with no structure, or all structure with no energy or surprises, it wouldn’t be very engaging.
I’m sure all of us—especially most women—have felt lost in our emotions or relationships. And most of us—especially men– have driven ourselves so hard to achieve things that life seems empty of light and love.
Our society as a whole has recently been much more masculine than it has been feminine—but this masculine has been distorted. Just to name a few ways, we have beaten up the earth, isolated ourselves in the name of money and power, stuffed our emotions and abused our bodies by the “food” and chemicals we’ve been ingesting.
So now as the feminine consciousness is rising fast I see that it will really help for the masculine to rise too, and for us to help it break free of recent distortions by honoring it for its true nature which is Divine. And I have really been looking at what is masculine energy—in me, in people I know, and in the world.
For example, having a female body and a creative path where I can work anytime I want, it really helps me to have some structure to my daily life.
My feminine energy might have so much fun staying up til 4 am, or coming up with a million creative ideas, or talking to my friends all day processing our feelings, but without masculine direction nothing really gets done that way. With the help of my inner masculine, though, I can set a rough schedule and in doing so I often find so much more of my feminine creative energy can actually manifest and be fulfilled.
By contrast, if my feminine stays in the story of wounded feminine I could get stuck in defending myself or needing to be rescued. And if my masculine acts from the recent cultural paradigm of ownership and control, I might order my feminine around with “have-to”s and insults to get her to “behave”.
Most of my clients are women, but I absolutely love the opportunity to read men. I learn so much! And I have been studying, through my work and in life, how does masculine energy present itself in men?
We have culturally associated masculine energy with money and power but I am seeing it’s not so simple. I meet men who have achieved a certain degree of success and income that are absolutely miserable because they are not living their purpose.
Just as feminine energy needs masculine energy, the reverse is also true. For a lot of men, chasing money and status have all been in attempt to attract women—to experience that light, love and energy they are so hungry for.
But if the men have abandoned their true masculine center by not living at their edge and in their purpose—whatever that is—they are actually attracting women who are in some way denying their own feminine radiance. For example (and this is an exaggerated stereotype), a man who hates being a doctor but who did it for the status may find his partner to be a frustrated housewife.
I see nothing wrong with doctors or housewives. For example if a man loved being a doctor and was deeply committed to his purpose in helping people, he would attract a partner who was radiant and happy– which could be as a housewife or anything else.
And, in some cases these dynamics play out in same-sex relationships, or in opposite-sex relationships where the roles are reversed. It is not so much the roles we play as it is the question of how much are we truly being ourselves and honoring both masculine and feminine parts of ourself and others.
But without consciousness around all this there has been a paradigm of “I suffer for you; you suffer for me” where most people have not been as authentic as they can be. It has not really been spoken but it has pervaded our relationships inner and outer—and it is now shifting!
Unfortunately we have not had many healthy, balanced, trustable masculine role models, and both men and women have suffered for this.
Many men have grown up in reaction to not wanting to be like their fathers, or the male models they have seen, and this combined with the rise of the Divine Feminine has made lots of men more feminine than is their true nature.
Women, on the other hand, have often yearned for masculine energy that wasn’t there, or have mistrusted what was there because it beat them up in one way or another. And just as we women can relax into our feminine more easily when there is trustable masculine leadership, the masculine has an easier time taking us somewhere when we choose to open up and trust.
No matter which side we are on and whether we’re talking about relationships between people or within ourselves, choosing to live in a state of honoring both masculine and feminine will automatically evoke both sides into their Divine expression. Of course, I’m not saying to blindly trust or to tolerate abuse, but instead to simply align our minds, hearts and actions with our true selves and with the intention to honor both sides.
I’m so curious to see what happens!
If you try it and find yourself getting stuck or would like some help, I offer private sessions for individuals and couples as well as my “Sweet Surrender” program for women starting in late January!
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Intuitive Healer Ann O’Brien publishes the “Flowering Sol” email newsletter to help you blossom into your light. If you’re ready to open up your intuition and creative power to fulfill your dream life, get your free gifts at www.FloweringSol.com.
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