Is there something you’re trying to let go of? A relationship? Condition in your body? Mental pattern? All of the above?
Recently, I helped a woman who told me how hard she was trying to let go of old patterns, yet she still struggled. One challenge in being so self-aware and motivated to grow is that we sometimes give ourselves a hard time here!
What I saw for this woman is what I see for the many of you who ask: Stop trying! I know– you are a good person, you may pride yourself on your spiritual path, but (so) STOP TRYING!
The reason is that trying doesn’t really work. Here’s why:
1). “Trying” and “letting go” are opposites. Letting go is an un-doing. So the more we can let things be and not try, the more we actually let go.
2). The most powerful catalyst for breakthrough is love. You have probably noticed that when you are in a loving state, so much seems possible and easy. By contrast, when we’re angry, afraid, resentful, punishing, you name it… everything seems difficult. So when we give up trying we begin to love and accept ourselves, which makes change possible.
3). Sometimes we don’t let go for very good reasons. Even when our aware selves have already changed, our bodies and emotions take their sweet time. An example may be the addiction our bodies and hearts have to a past lover even once we realize the relationship doesn’t serve us anymore. Or, someone trying to lose weight may actually be wise in holding weight because toxins are held in fat. Until the person is strong and self-loving enough to safely release those toxins (and the related energy patterns), no diet will work!
So what to do instead of try? Besides self-love and relaxation (both easier said than done, I know!), here’s what I recommend:
Look honestly at the condition you’d like to change, then simply move TOWARDS something you prefer, that feels healthier. Don’t make yourself stop anything, just do something else (instead or in addition).
For example, how loved can you imagine feeling?! Open up to more loving relationships, choose love and then notice how the old, unrewarding ones start to lose appeal.
If you drink a pot of coffee a day, ask yourself what you are really wanting from the coffee. Then add in something that will give you that. You might realize you need more protein, exercise, or a nap, or that you actually prefer not to work at the frenetic pace that coffee encourages!
If your mind is repeating fearful thoughts, one of my favorite exercises is to write them all down in one column, then next to each one write a positive affirmation to replace it. I recorded mine and listen to them all the time on my iPod. They work!
Enjoy and happy un-doing!
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Intuitive Healer Ann O’Brien publishes the “Flowering Sol” email newsletter to help you blossom into your light. If you’re ready to open up your intuition and creative power to fulfill your dream life, get your free gifts at www.FloweringSol.com.
copyright 2010 Ann O’Brien- All Rights Reserved.