I remember how much it hurt giving birth. Well, sort of.
We were in my living room and into the 19th hour with 2 hours of sleep and no drugs. In the moment, the pain was so powerful I couldn’t believe they were telling me to keep pushing. Every ounce of my being was saying to hold back so I didn’t die, but I trusted the midwives. And with them feeding me spoonfuls of raw honey and ginseng I kept pushing until my beautiful daughter entered the world.
I say I “sort of” remember because the love that came next, which continues to blossom more and more each day, is even greater than the pain. I guess this is why women have multiple babies. I used to think since so many did it, and since I’m so in tune with my body, I’d manage the pain easily. Ha ha! I hadn’t realized that the love could be that huge.
I thought before I gave birth that it would be more instinctive, that I wouldn’t need coaching. I thought my partner and I would just do our thing with the midwives in the background. Little did I know…
Some women need that experience of trust in themselves and their bodies, and that’s exactly what they get. They feel after giving birth, “I can do anything!”
Before giving birth, I felt that way. Afterwards I realized that even though I had the power, I needed a perspective beyond what I’d had so far to do something I’d never done before. What I needed and what I received was the experience of trusting what I could not see, taking a leap against my instincts and being supported to a birth greater than I’d dreamed of.
In other words, in order to have my breakthrough I needed to dive into my blind spot.
Have you ever tried for weeks, months, or years to change an issue– doing your “best” at what you know how to do whether that’s processing, therapy, classes, books, etc.—and nothing changes? Ugg! That’s so frustrating.
I remember for years I was calling in my soul mate, and processing and meditating and reading books and complaining/ fantasizing as I talked with my friends about it. Then, one day I was in the grocery store with a dear friend, staring at my list and menu planning. He stopped me and said:
“Ann, you’re missing them! There are all these great guys here and you’re looking down. Why don’t you look around and smile at somebody?”
Duh! Why hadn’t I thought of that? I guess it took a guy to point it out. 🙂
Then I went to a class called “Let’s Get Married,” for women to call in their husbands. It was a meditation-based workshop, like the ones I teach, and I was surprised to hear the teacher advising us how to dress.
She told us to wear strappy sandals, bold/ bright colors and gold hoop earrings. Here I had been wearing more neutrals like black and muted colors.
She said, “Black is a great color when you want to show professional confidence, but I don’t recommend wearing it on a date.” Oops!
Here I was trying so hard to attract a guy, and I was—all the while totally missing the things that would actually attract him. I was mad at the Universe for not rewarding my efforts, all the while missing how I had been hiding.
The good news though is that it was actually much easier to do what worked than to do what took 10 times the effort with no result.
Everyone has their “stuff.” Your challenge might be how to make or manage money, or succeed in your career, or deal with that difficult friend or family member.
Have you looked outside your “radar”? Even opening to the possibility that you don’t know the answer, that the breakthrough might be there, can help tremendously.
Do you know someone who has done what you want to do? They are likely to see your blind spot. At least, choose someone who doesn’t have the “stuff” you do, or who is further along in their process with it.
I have dedicated over a decade to seeing my own and others’ blind spots. If you’d like to explore having a reading and healing session or free introductory consultation, go here. To your breakthrough!!