As I write, I am listening to my husband talk to our daughter in the next room. He’s angry about someone hacking into his website. But he’s trying to stay calm and loving, and then Azadeh smacks him in the face. She’s just playing… or is she?
My view as a healer, having observed the energetic dynamics in relationships for many years, is that we naturally take on each others’ stuff. Especially with those we love, or need something from.
He did it with my Mom. She’d get angry but wouldn’t express it, then he’d express more anger than made sense.
My ex-sister-in law had cancer… and a foul mouth. Probably no one would have seen her as a healer, but she was because she expressed the emotions that others didn’t. Unfortunately, at a serious price for her body.
In these cases, “healing other people” meant taking on their stuff so they wouldn’t have to feel it. We think, or unconsciously assume that it’s the “nice” thing to do. But it can backfire in several ways:
- The other person doesn’t get to process their own feeling or solve their own problem, if we’ve taken it from them.
- We feel like sh*t, and have less energy for our own life. We can even forget what we’re here for!
- The other person starts to hate our guts. Either they’re jealous because we’re being who they wish they could be, or we’re expressing the emotions they denied and repressed. Here we are thinking they will love us so much for healing them, and they end up avoiding or blaming us.
Of course, if you do heal other people unknowingly, you also have a gift. The desire for others to feel better– even when it comes from your need to feel better because your environment is safe or soothing– is not wrong. It is a beautiful thing and like anything you have to give, it hurts to not give it.
When we have these kind of gifts and we consciously apply them, amazing miracles can happen. Relationships get repaired, health improves, and careers take off. I don’t know where I’d be without my healing gifts today!
Like any special skill, healing needs to be cultivated and directed appropriately. When you learn how to use it consciously, and have an outlet for your gift, you have less and less need to heal in the unhealthy ways mentioned above. And, you can learn how to release other people’s energy if you take it on.
There are also techniques you can learn. Doing so takes you from being a natural, accidental healer to being a confident– even professional– healer if you choose. Without specific skills, a natural healer is like a natural musician with no instrument. The techniques give us more clarity about what’s happening.
I remember the excitement I felt when I learned tools to turn my natural healing gifts into something that truly supported others. Even better, I learned to do it in a way that made my life healthier instead of more confusing.
Starting in January, I’ll be offering new classes: “Meditation 101” and “Awaken Your Healing Energy”. Join us and learn to transform relationship and health challenges, energize specific projects, clear blocks to success… and much more… for yourself and others! Learn more.