As a singer-songwriter in my 20’s, some of my heros were Ani DiFranco and Alanis Morissette. I drove around the country in a mini-van by myself, and I locked eyes with men who checked me out, as if to have a stare-down contest. In the world I saw female leaders on the rise, and yet there was that same energy– “Let me show you I’m as strong as a man.”
As if the men at the time had it all worked out! On the one hand we resented their power, and yet on the other hand we tried to be like them. The truth was, and still is in many ways, that both the masculine and feminine energies were distorted on the planet.
Now, it’s exciting to see a new breed of feminine power emerging. Now, I see a celebration of true feminine values– feelings, connection and beauty. I am seeing some talk about a new masculine consciousness and that excites me even more. Truly, we need each aspect to come into balance to support the other.
Many people are still confused. In my work with women, I notice most have one of two tendencies– either to be so run by emotions and flow that nothing gets done, or to be so hardened and driven that feeling gets lost, manifestation is hard and hearts hurt.
The old feminine paradigm was to be passive. Some women still get confused about this. They think if they are to be more feminine, they shouldn’t speak up. Nothing could be further from the truth! The feminine is wildly creative, full in it’s expression. Just look at mother nature. Sometimes she’s soft, sometimes she’s wild and erratic, and sometimes she rages. Passive? I don’t think so.
Last spring, I went to visit my parents and we went to a museum. I guess my mother had some specific things she wanted to see there, but she didn’t voice it. When I noticed my 2-year-old getting tired and hungry and suggested we leave, my mother went into a pout. We had to pull it out of her to discover why she was so upset.
“What’s this little-girl routine?” I asked her. Her “thing” was to feel overlooked or slighted, and she didn’t realize she was creating it herself through not speaking up. I said, “Mom, we want to support you. We can only do that if you tell us what you want.” Ah-ha. After decades of this pattern, I think it finally clicked.
Just because men’s voices have historically spoken louder than women’s doesn’t mean passivity is a feminine quality. In fact, because we women are wired to make babies (whether or not we do so), our feminine energy holds immense creative power.
I’ll never forget something my spiritual teacher once said in a workshop. Addressing the ladies in the room, he said, “Most of the time when you’re afraid of a man, he’s actually afraid of you.” Whoa. That hit me like a ton of bricks as truth. As women, we have so much energy and power!
That’s not to say men are weaker or less. In fact, I think it’s great that true feminine power is rising, because it is calling forth the best in men now. In fact, my “mantra” if I am out walking alone and see a man that “may” threaten me, is to say to myself, “I bring out the best in all men.” It is amazing to see the mens’ smiles and graciousness that follows.
A woman stuck in her weakness will create a feeling of being overpowered. A man stuck in the distorted patriarchal paradigm will need to control women to feel safe and strong. So we both have to shift!
I feel for the men I see holding back, living in their meekness so as not to be that macho jerk. I see really good men who feel guilty about how women have been treated, and respond by becoming feminine so as not to upset anyone. Usually, they never had a healthy masculine model and so fear their own edge. “Ground from your balls,” I told one client recently who was surrounded by female energy.
In the 90’s, everyone seemed to lean towards neutralizing gender so we didn’t have to deal with it. I get it. The old way was so painful, and this was a step. But nature has polarity. Whether you’re gay or straight, we can’t deny that a man and a woman coming together can make babies. So there is obviously something powerful that happens when masculine and feminine energies unite, that we all can tap into to create magic in our lives.
It really doesn’t matter your gender or sexual orientation. I honor everyone’s choices, and we all have masculine and feminine sides. My point is that both masculine and feminine need to be celebrated and supported for what they are, if we are to bring balance on earth and if we are to create personally with more power and ease.
As a clairvoyant, my job is to be neutral. And I’m ultra-clear that true neutrality is not a blah, cold or apathetic space. It actually comes from allowing all of our feelings, thoughts and human experience. It comes from knowing diversity, pleasure and pain, and all the colors in the rainbow. One of the most important exercises I give my clairvoyant students is to meditate on each color and release their “charge” on each.
If we seek to avoid certain colors, feelings or situations, we inevitably immobilize ourselves. The more I’ve seen and experienced, the more I can laugh and find constructive solutions.
Back to mother nature… I think of masculine and feminine as a riverbank and river. The riverbank provides the masculine structure and support for the feminine waters to flow. And here’s the really cool part… the river actually forms the riverbank!
This is KEY to the shift that is needed. When our political, cultural and personal structures start to serve (rather than control) our relational, feeling, intuitive nature as humans, the masculine will be in balance.
And to any angry feminists still out there, I’ll also say: Without the riverbank there would be no river. Deep breath. We need the masculine.
A river with nothing to hold it is just a mess. A flood that destroys. A trickle that’s powerless. Proper structure and presence can exponentially boost our feminine power.
I’ve helped women go from avoiding money to starting businesses and buying property. Learning that they could do it took them from confusion and aimlessness into creative flow!
I’ve taught clients to “pull their energy” out of relationship drama, using their inner masculine discipline to re-focus on their radiance and sensuality. As they did so, men started to appreciate them more and suddenly there was no need for drama. The drama they thought was so real simply vanished.
I’ve reminded other women to get out of effort, trying to figure it all out, and into their hearts. I’ve shown them how pushing or analyzing, no matter how well-meaning, does not magnetize love or money or improve our health. There is a reason we see beautiful women on most billboards. It’s more than objectifying something external. It’s radiance that attracts all of us.
If you’d like to learn to bring your masculine and feminine sides together and create magic in your life, join us this winter for “Creating Your Life With Your Light: A Woman’s Journey to Success from the Inside Out.” I invite you to 10 weeks of meditation and energy clearing classes, along with 10 special guest interviews with experts on love, money, health, sex, finding your destiny and more.
It will be a powerful winter to re-set how you’re creating and living with so much more power, ease and success. Tell a friend, and learn more and register here.
Feel free to reach out with any questions, or leave a comment below.