I remember over a decade ago when I was in “psychic school”. My friends thought it was so glamorous but I wasn’t really learning any new skills. Instead I would tell them, “It’s like I’m in therapy.”
Every time I would read another person’s energy, I had to face myself. If I wasn’t willing to see something in myself, I had trouble seeing it in another—or, I saw it clearly and this pushed me to grow past my blind spots and resistances.
On another note, I had to look at why I had gotten so good at reading and healing other people. I was already good at it; that’s why I was drawn to these studies to begin with.
To some extent one might say it’s genetic, or a gift a soul is born with. And while those things were true for me, I also grew up with enough uncertainty and disappointment that I developed even stronger skills. Somehow I felt that reading and healing other people would keep me safe.
In time, I did this without even trying. In fact, I had to learn to consciously turn my abilities off, not on, and that’s mostly what I learned in my training. Otherwise, my life was like walking into Best Buy and watching all the TVs at once—pretty overwhelming.
Not only did this confuse me, it upset the people around me. As for reading people, not everyone wants to be read! I laugh now as I watch how the very same thing one person pays me for will cause another to run away from me.
As for healing people, that got even stickier. First of all, as an unconscious healer I thought that everything I felt was mine, and that I had to fix it if I felt it. But since it wasn’t mine I couldn’t, which felt like a bottomless pit of pain and frustration.
Secondly, as I healed my father, for example, I started to express the feelings he’d been denying. Do you think this made him love me more? No, it made him mad at me, but neither of us understood what was happening.
Around the time of my psychic training, I was teaching young children and their parents would ask me to help with their “discipline problems.” Most of the time, the kids were just expressing their parents’ pain. I couldn’t really tell the parents that and keep my job, but I taught the kids grounding and energy clearing and boom—the “discipline issues” were solved!
Just like I was, these kids were unconscious healers.
I see this a lot in couples too. You know those couples that have been together a long time and even start to look alike? Or how one partner is the only one to express anger and the other the only one to express sadness?
Is that really how people are? No, no one is that one-sided.
In each of these cases, you can bet the partners have taken on each other’s energy—and made psychic agreements to express and even feel things for one another. No wonder attraction tends to fade over time, but it doesn’t have to be this way.
As I mentioned, learning to be aware as a reader and healer has been a great gift. As I’ve read energy now for thousands of people, there are fewer and fewer things I’m afraid to look at in myself or in others. This has helped me embrace the wholeness in each of us, and that is really what heals.