I used to get these types of clients a lot more often. They’d say, “I’m fine; it’s just my husband/ mother/ son who has a problem. Can you fix them?”
Most of the time I’d laugh (inside anyway) and let these clients know that I’d focus on them first, and help them through the challenges they felt in these relationships. I’d explain that I cannot force anyone to heal or change, but that if I sensed their loved ones were open, I’d surely send healing their way.
Now, there are always exceptions where someone has a relative going through surgery, traveling away from technology, or who for whatever reason cannot join me on the phone. In those cases, I often find it appropriate to focus my energy towards that other person.
Most of the time, though, when people ask me to fix or change another, they are somewhat unaware of their own role in the relationship challenge. This is where I come in and gently, persistently help the pointing finger point back.
Think about it. Even when another person has truly disappointed us, we cannot access our full power when we assume the victim position.
If your loved one is suffering, and you worry about them, does that help? No.
We can pray for others, but most people don’t know how to pray. Out of religious programming, ignorance about psychic energy, or personal fears, most prayers actual send more negativity towards the person being prayed for due to the mental broadcast of worry.
So, what to do instead?
If someone has disappointed you…
- Feel your own feelings
- Ask yourself, “What need does this situation show me I have?”
- Honor that need within you, and ask yourself, “What would it look like if this need were met?”
- Commit to having that need met regardless of whether the person in question ever changes.
- If it feels appropriate, let that person know you have this need and tell them specifically how they could support you in meeting it.
- If not (or in addition), take action in getting your needs met some other way
- Ask yourself why you allowed this need to go unmet. Are you willing to release whatever beliefs or energies allowed this? You don’t need to know how to do so right this moment; you can start by being willing to let them go.
If someone you know is suffering…
- Do your best now to stop worrying. Replace those thoughts with an image of them feeling well, or even a symbol or color that represents this to you. Simple is fine, as long as it feels good to you.
- Ask yourself how you feel about their suffering. Your worry may spin out of control if you aren’t feeling the truth in your heart.
- Take the time to feel whatever feelings you discover. Unlike worry, which can add fuel to the very thing you fear, your true feelings will liberate both you and the other person. For example, if you fear they’ll abandon you and you’re scared to admit it, you may be subconsciously requiring them to abandon you so you can discover and clear up your own pain. The subconscious is very clever.
So yes, spiritual healing can help your family and loved ones, but most of the time it starts with you. Your willingness to feel fully and claim your own happiness can support others more than you’d even imagine! If they still need help, we can address it from here…