I don’t know where I got it, but somewhere along the way I got the idea that I have to hold the world up by myself. And while I AM a high energy person and enjoy being active, I also need to receive to maintain this energy level and to support others.
I have a really great man in my life who loves to make me happy. But sometimes I forget. I don’t see him supporting me in the way I expect, and so I think he can’t or won’t. I make up a story about it and tell my friends. Then I catch myself…
If I step back, I could count so many times he has gone out of his way for me that I haven’t asked for. He overhears a casual comment I make about a need I have or a challenge I’m going through, and he comes in with the solution. I remember when we first got together, he drove my car from New Mexico to LA so I didn’t have to rent a car for my travels (well, ok, he wanted to come to LA too :)… and he found a shop and took the car in when it needed repairs. I was doing readings that whole day from my sister’s house and all I had to do was leave the keys outside for him. That was a lot more ease than I was used to! And he does the dishes and cleans the house.
Then there are things I want that I don’t know how to get him to do. I want him to do more childcare on a regular schedule. Try asking a surfer and triple air sign to do a regular schedule! 🙂 It’s taken awhile, but now he actually does it 20 hours a week.
I want him to manage money my way. It drives me nuts because our personalities are very different in certain ways. I think if he doesn’t do it my way, he isn’t supporting me. Like I’m a victim and I’m trapped.
No matter what’s happening “out there,” it’s no fun to feel like a victim or trapped, so I decided to change it. I changed first the feeling within me and then my life changed.
I’ve heard it said that we shouldn’t assume anything, but I have a new spin on it. We are always assuming things. This is how we manifest.
When we assume “negative things”, we are actually projecting those mental image pictures and emotions out in the world, and we attract them into our reality. Discovering and transforming these is a big part of the work I do with my clients.
And I realized if I’m assuming things anyway, why don’t I assume he loves me and wants me to thrive? Which is really the truth.
Now, I’m not saying go into fantasy… “Tonight he’s going to come home with a million dollars and make love to me for a week straight” or whatever your fantasy may be… I’m simply saying, let’s look at our assumptions and notice how they are creating results in our lives.
As soon as I looked at him as someone who wanted to support me, and let go of my pictures of how it should look, I got more than I asked for! He often takes the baby for “extra time” so that I can work or sleep in or whatever. And I may not have the bills paid 2 weeks ahead of time, but I get flowers and cards and surprise gifts pretty often.
Our lives have been so much about the baby, work and scrambling to keep up the house for 2 years– but this past weekend we even went on a date and it was his idea!
So I encourage you to assume love, assume your needs will be met, assume you’ll be a success, or whatever you need in your life. And get ready to be pleasantly surprised!