Growing up naturally intuitive and sensitive, I was very unaware of how much I received, and it got me in trouble! Besides, I got the programming that being feminine meant receiving whatever came my way, and stuffing my feelings if it didn’t feel good.
So receiving did not feel safe, and then I spent years guarded and missing out on so much– love, money, friendships, and the opportunity to share my gifts– all because I didn’t know how to do things differently.
Can you relate? One of the questions I hear most is “How can I be receptive/ feminine/ intuitive in a healthy way? So here are some tips:
1). Make a list of things you love, and things you hate. I know, hating may not seem polite or spiritual and that’s exactly the point. By simply allowing yourself to acknowledge what you don’t want, you’ll have the discernment and trust in yourself that allows you to OPEN to what you do want. You won’t be so afraid once you do this exercise. Trust me. It’s powerful.
2). Ground yourself. If you don’t know how, listen here to a 4-minute free sample grounding meditation.
3).If you’re stuck trying to solve a problem or process an emotion and it’s not resolving, know this: It’s NOT yours. Our own problems feel like creative challenges, not hopeless mazes. Our own emotions release after a good cry or laugh or scream. So if that’s not happening, let them go. Imagine a magic soap bubble out in front of you with a magnet in it, and imagine the emotions or problem get pulled out of you into the bubble. Then see it float off as far as you can imagine and poof! Explode it. Those people will get their emotions or problems back and they’ll get the gift of finally being able to resolve them!
4). Look at your programming and role models around receiving. Did you learn to block and shield, or to take on other’s burdens, or that being open all the time was more feminine or spiritual? Once we can see our patterns, we are most of the way there to releasing them! This is why intuitive readings can help as well, since someone outside our world can often see it more clearly than we can.
5). Once you see your patterns, act them out. I mean it. Get silly! You can grab a friend for this one, exaggerate your “issues” with your partner, or do it by yourself in the mirror until you laugh. Then see if you that pattern has any hold on you again!
6). If there is something you want to know and you find yourself obsessing and wishing you had a crystal ball… stop, sit down and ground. Then close your eyes and imagine a movie screen a few feet out in front of you. See it blank, then ask your question in your mind and imagine that you “see” the answer on the screen. Be open to symbols, colors, or vague information as well as full-on movies. Trust you will be shown what will most benefit you today. When you’ve had enough, turn it off, open your eyes and enjoy being consciously receptive!
7). Ask yourself, “Where am I right now?” Of course, you know where your body is but where are YOU? Where is your attention? Simply by noticing when you are not “home,” you have the opportunity to come back to your body. When you’re present, you’re much less likely to absorb things that don’t feel good.
8). Feel your own feelings. Often when we are habitually “not home”, we are trying to escape pain. If you have physical pain, if you don’t see a spark of light in your own eyes, or if you feel numb– these are signs that you’re not feeling fully. Yes, it’s uncomfortable to feel but the only way out is through! Once we breathe into the edge of our discomfort, it begins to dissolve. Breathe and feel!
9). Fill yourself up by enjoying your life— no waiting. It may sound paradoxical to fill yourself up when you want to receive– but when you are living a full life and radiating creativity, joy and bliss– you are a magnet for more of the same. Like attracts like.
10). Know this secret. Receiving is a CHOICE. Receiving does not just happen to you, and you can choose how to receive. I learned this in the martial art of Aikido. I could take being thrown hard, because I knew how to use the energy to twirl into a somersault and come up standing. It was exhilarating. You may not be doing martial arts, but make it a game… Decide that every judgment thrown your way turns into a hundred dollar bill. Decide that every lustful stare makes you more attractive and beckons your soulmate. Choose your version and have fun!
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copyright 2011 Ann O’Brien- All Rights Reserved.